I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
