now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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