Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
tell me about the fingering
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