idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.