It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....