Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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