So drunk its hurt
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
