thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
