we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
