I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize