I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
