I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
