The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
