And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
