i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
