I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
