All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
