one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
