I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
