You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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