If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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