butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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