I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
