And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
