Plan B is the new Plan A
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize