i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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