Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
