this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
