He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
