what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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