I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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