just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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