Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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