Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
