Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
