those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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