so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
