The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
whose parrot is this?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
