He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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