At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
