I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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