Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
