Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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