i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need moral support for this bender
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
