sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
