Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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