these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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