I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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