What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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