Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
