maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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