idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
