Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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