I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
