Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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