nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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