I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
