My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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