I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
