Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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