Your face is a jimmy john
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
