Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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