Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize