It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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