He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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