my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
