Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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