All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize