What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
