she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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