omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
